Quotable Quotes

I'm gonna make love even when I'm dead
Your body might get cold, but it's always hot in my bed
Make love, don't you be afraid
Just because my heart ain't beating, it don't mean you won't
get laid.
-Chef [sings to Thriller beat as a zombie]

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

15 things you should never get caught doing in the mall

1. For all the guys out there, never get caught staring at the ladies' section. Its embarrassing, seriously !!

2. For all the queers out there, stop staring at the mannequins. It might seem normal to straight people, but apparently, it's embarrassing.

3. August 3rd, 1853, 11:07:15 : "The Elevator is just a machine for transport and any unnecessary actions, like farting in an elevator just for the heck of it, can lead to imprisonment under a Court of Law" - Elisha Graves Otis
August 3rd, 1853, 11:07:25 : "Goddamnit, what did that bastard think ?! For Heaven's sake, it's closed !!!.....From all sides !!!!"

4. If in a crowd of more than 4 people and you want to show off your baals, you do not say : "I got a new girl friend, w00t !!".
Why not in a mall ?? Cause it's simply too crowded.

5. If its the first time you are buying condoms, you are not to ask help for sizes. And NO, you cannot try them on !!!

6. Do NOT piss in the car park. Trust me, it's not worth it.
However, you can piss anywhere if held at gun-point. It's just tough making someone do that to you !!

7. If you thought holding two melons chest high was funny, think again. And even if you did, trust me, it's not worth it.

8. Do not go around trying to woo people into buying bio-technologically enhanced products. As I just learnt, apparently it doesn't work(not the products shine-head, this marketing strategy !!). The boom jus ain't comin that way fellas.

9. It's highly advised not to stalk people in malls. No, not because it will disturb the general public and result in you being behind bars, but because its tough to stalk in such a crowded place, you know. Its tiring, besides.

10. Never shout into the P.A system for a Jack/Jill (an arbit guy/girl) to report there immediately.
No, It is a good idea. But no one ever comes !!! If at all they do, you better not be there !!

11. Contaminating the sauce in a food court is a nice idea, but I already did it, so don't.

12. Don't ever dump your bf/gf when in a mall. Its really embarrassing for him/her. But its nice fun *grin*...

13. Wipe that smirk of your face, when in a mall. People might think you are on drugs !!

14. It ain't funny trying to trip people while you hide behind the ornamental weed. No, actually it is. But please don't do it.

15. Don't get ice cream. Get yourself some Kaapi, fella.


Usha said...

:)) it WAS funny!





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