15 things you should never get caught doing in the mall

1. For all the guys out there, never get caught staring at the ladies' section. Its embarrassing, seriously !!


2. For all the queers out there, stop staring at the mannequins. It might seem normal to straight people, but apparently, it's embarrassing.


3. August 3rd, 1853, 11:07:15 : "The Elevator is just a machine for transport and any unnecessary actions, like farting in an elevator just for the heck of it, can lead to imprisonment under a Court of Law" - Elisha Graves Otis
August 3rd, 1853, 11:07:25 : "Goddamnit, what did that bastard think ?! For Heaven's sake, it's closed !!!.....From all sides !!!!"


4. If in a crowd of more than 4 people and you want to show off your baals, you do not say : "I got a new girl friend, w00t !!".
Why not in a mall ?? Cause it's simply too crowded.


5. If its the first time you are buying condoms, you are not to ask help for sizes. And NO, you cannot try them on !!!


6. Do NOT piss in the car park. Trust me, it's not worth it.
However, you can piss anywhere if held at gun-point. It's just tough making someone do that to you !!


7. If you thought holding two melons chest high was funny, think again. And even if you did, trust me, it's not worth it.


8. Do not go around trying to woo people into buying bio-technologically enhanced products. As I just learnt, apparently it doesn't work(not the products shine-head, this marketing strategy !!). The boom jus ain't comin that way fellas.


9. It's highly advised not to stalk people in malls. No, not because it will disturb the general public and result in you being behind bars, but because its tough to stalk in such a crowded place, you know. Its tiring, besides.


10. Never shout into the P.A system for a Jack/Jill (an arbit guy/girl) to report there immediately.
No, It is a good idea. But no one ever comes !!! If at all they do, you better not be there !!


11. Contaminating the sauce in a food court is a nice idea, but I already did it, so don't.


12. Don't ever dump your bf/gf when in a mall. Its really embarrassing for him/her. But its nice fun *grin*...


13. Wipe that smirk of your face, when in a mall. People might think you are on drugs !!


14. It ain't funny trying to trip people while you hide behind the ornamental weed. No, actually it is. But please don't do it.


15. Don't get ice cream. Get yourself some Kaapi, fella.

Arbit cups of Kaapi - I

1. Assamese are lazy people. And I mean lazy in every sense. One fact that can prove this is:

Assam
Area: 78,438 km²
Pop: 26,655,216

Bihar(a state not-so-far off)
Area: 94,164 km²
Pop: 82,878,796

Wait a minute. Maybe this is a result if all those unsold condoms in Bihar.



2. But generally, Indians are lazy. I pondered on this after coming to know that there is this particular tennis stadium called Indian Wells Tennis 'Gardens'. What do you freakin' relax there ? or play tennis?
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But just in case you didnt know, Indian Wells is in California, U.S.A

Ha Ha....Gotcha !!!!



3. Hey stop thinking that. I knew Indian Wells was in the U.S.A before I wrote this even.



4. When I was young, mind it very young, I used to think portfolio was some kind of polio. I dont know why ?



5. Back in school, during one of our economics classes, we were being taught about something called 'Volatility Smile'. When one smart guy commented, "Thats when you start losing your money and your smile fades away." His smirk didn't last long either.



6. There is this video my friend came across when we were in 11th standard. Its quite famous and is about a Japanese game that was then translated by some Japanese nut jobs into English. Watch the video for what I would like to call Classic humor !!






7. As most of you might know, Purple Man is the arch-nemesis of Daredevil. But does anyone have an idea as to why he was named that. Was it because he was always beaten black and blue by Daredevil ?




8. What would the only song in 'Cinderella'-The musical starring 'Rihanna' be ??
Cinderella..ella....ella....ella..ella...(till the end ??!!)



9. Its true Sudhanshu. My blog might just have more visitors than yours. Not because my friend list is endless. But because most of your friends live in a place without internet - Jharkhand !!!