Quotable Quotes

I'm gonna make love even when I'm dead
Your body might get cold, but it's always hot in my bed
Make love, don't you be afraid
Just because my heart ain't beating, it don't mean you won't
get laid.
-Chef [sings to Thriller beat as a zombie]

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Love Triangle

We all know women have their hearts filled with love for their men (provided they have one(I meant the heart) and provided they are straight.). It's different in the case of men though. We have to divide our love amongst various things.

An Average Male's Love Chart

And as you can see, maintaining the balance is tough work.
Jokes apart, what would happen if one of man's longest surviving lover (apart from women), cars had a humanness in them ?

Perhaps there is a Macho Man(M.M) in the most hip night club of Las Anjale (read as L.A.,California) and his girl, the blonde Sexy Slut(S.S), who just loves Macho for 'what he is'. Perhaps Macho has a hip, gas-guzzling, 375 bhp, V-8, 2200 cc Mustang Shelby Eleanor(M.S). Fear not ladies, its just a car !!. Perhaps Shelby's got a heart too, and perhaps he likes The Blonde too. Here's what could happen at the entrance of the 'hip' (i just love using that word !) night club trying to woo the chick.

M.M: Come on bitch, let's go dance !
S.S: Wait .... I think your car's trying to tell me something.
M.M: What are you dumb ?
S.S: Duh!!! I mean, What did you call me ??
M.M: Yeah, I do say my Princess roars...but she can't talk !!
M.S: I am a he.
M.M: What's with your voice, you slutty goose (in case I had forgotten to mention before, M.M has been turning gay for quite some time now, due to unknown reasons and hence the expression)
S.S: It wasn't me, macho maniac (no she ain't gay, just blonde)
M.S: It was me.
M.M: Aaaaahhh...My cars talking. Oh crazy Lord. Whats happening to me.
M.S: Nothing. It's just that I can talk.
M.M: Well, what do you know. A talking car.(to himself) Maybe I would be able to make a fortune out of it. But who's gonna buy him. Maybe Carlos would buy him. Oh Carlos, you would buy him won't you, buddy. Oh man, I can see Carlos ass sitting on this very seat. His round, tight ass. Ooohhh. (Turns around and starts jerking off.)
M.S: Listen lady Slut. I love you to the core of my engine. You are the only fuel I will need to succeed in a race called life.
S.S: Oh, ain't that sweet Macho.
M.M: aaahhhh !!
M.S: I need a change in life. I want to get away from my machine self and be the human I always wanted to be. And I need you to help.
S.S: But we just gave you that change. We had your radio-thingy changed.
M.S: Why don't you understand me !! Huh? Radio-thingy? Oh you mean radiator.
S.S: Whatever. And we even had your pistols repaired.(alarmed) Macho, I think he's got that pistol with him now. I am scared Macho, help.
M.M: aaaaaahhhhhhh!!
M.S: What ? Pistol ? Oh, you mean a piston !! No. No. I don't have a pistol. I am clean.
S.S: Of course you'll be clean,honey. Remember that soap wash I gave you while Macho was talking photos of me.
M.S: He was taking photos of the painter working next door. Not you !!
M.M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
M.S: But don't you remember ? We've had our own fun too, when you went up and down my gear handle.
S.S: Why, you remember that, naughty boy ! But what's that supposed to mean to you.
M.S: Wellll. Lets say man:penis::car:gear handle !!
S.S: What's that supposed to mean, rocket scientist.
M.S: It means you have already had sex with me !!
S.S: Oh. So if I've been your slut once......I guess I can be your slut..... forever.
M.S: Alright !!!!!
S.S: (as she is getting into the car) You know what. Macho's been acting weird. He doesn't even get turned on by me anymore. Maybe he's getting old.
M.S:(frustrated) You know what. Phuck you, dumb bitch. I don't need this human crap. I was content being a car. And Iam goin back.

M.S. drives away without her. M.M zips up and takes S.S. to the night club only to later break up with her (by convincing her that she was gay) and spend the night at Carlos' home.

Disclaimer : All characters in this post, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.


Pranay said...

hehe.. that was really funny.. i agree every bit wid that pie chart.. just put Lindsay instead of Megan Fox for me!!!
i like the way u imagined all tht car talk...
and the analogy was... umm.. quite obvious! but.. gr88 fun man.. keep it up..

btw.. u can have a look at my post, its of the same genre : machine talking!

Manohar said...

Good scenario!Had a nice laugh!
I Will come back to read old posts.

Sudar said...

thank you !!

unpretentious_diva said...

the post shows you don't know nuffin about women.

Sorry to say but its a frivolous joke.

But anyways, if I didn't liked it then anyone else won't like it too.

So keep entertaining the people who will like it and keep entertaining yourself too.


shekhar said...

hehe enjoyed it except the analogy of initials to my name, may be.

and don't you know, women read ayn rand and don't really like humor.
So please start writing something serious like- 'the growth of bamboo trees in watershed regions' or like that.

keep writing :)

Sudar said...

But anyways, if I didn't liked it then anyone else won't like it too.....who do you suppose you are, the speaker of the masses(for women). Or narrow-mindedness personified. Oh wait, you are an Ayn Rand fan. What else could I expect :D.

May be to your disappointment, but I've had really nice reviews on that post(EVEN FROM WOMEN).

P.S: It's a pity that I will continue writing. Maybe you could use a peek later.

T.h.E. b.L.e.S.s.E.d. O.n.E said...

hee hee.. soopry doopry :)

rinzu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sudar said...

thank u all...

sariyaa sonnengae pongae maami......

me_manuj said...

we all know ms is gay... and u ruined it for me with the initials....rest of it was gud...

Sudar said...

thank you manuj.
As for ms being gay, I suppose you can wait till The Love Hexagonal is published. And as for the initials, it was a coincidence. I am serious !!